If you're new around here, welcome! This is my weekly letter, in which I usually tell stories, share photos, and endeavor to share whatever insights I'm learning in the sincere hope that they serve you.
If you're not-so-new, thank you for being here! I like to see your name on my newsletter list, and rest my mind momentarily on you with gentle appreciation, even if we've never met. (Isn't technology magical?? I mean, really.)
You longtime readers have probably gleaned by now that I started out as a human train wreck. Please see this letter, or this one, or this one if you don't believe me. I share that fact openly because A) it's true - just ask my mom; B) authenticity matters a lot; C) I'm not afraid of showing the whole messy picture; and, D) it's an important part of my story.
I actually believe I needed to be a disaster so I could learn my work of being a life coach.
In other words, it wasn't wrong to be a highly sensitive, highly introverted, highly perceptive kid who became addicted to achievement (and other people's approval) even before I got braces in third grade. It wasn't condemnatory that I grew anxious, codependent, and prone to headaches in middle school. It wasn't bad to feel like an outsider, a misfit in my family, my peer groups, my schools. It wasn't a mistake to bring these various challenges into adulthood, or to prioritize being good and responsible and conscientious over being happy.
I experienced all of this - and far more - so I could learn.
These aspects of my often-painful pathway have all given me lessons, however indirectly. Now I'm glad, even grateful sometimes, that I walked it. Because I learned my work, and continue to do so. Because now I get to be here in service to beloveds (like you, perhaps?) who are walking a pathway similar to mine, who are suffering, and who would like to find a way to be happy.
To be specific, I help high-achieving, ambitious women who are sensitive, anxious, stressed out, and on the path to burnout by showing them how to devote themselves to their own happiness.
I can do this with authenticity and power and compassion because I've lived it. I've graduated with honors, scored dream jobs in the lucrative field of education (ha ha ha!), saved money and bought a home and a car...and wondered the whole way through when exactly the joy would arrive please? The rich joy that one gets automatically as a result of responsible adulthood and professional success? Right??
In my experience, that profoundly joyful happiness does not happen automatically.
It takes devotion, as I've written about before, and it also takes something else (which I have not discussed before): it takes knowing.
We have to know what we want for our own uniquely right lives.
And most people do not. I'd estimate that about 90% of people don't know what they really truly want.
And I understand. For most of my life, I certainly didn't know what I wanted. I barely knew what I wanted for breakfast (!) let alone what I truly-madly-deeply desired for my life.
Up until about age 33, I was fervently pursuing what I was supposed to be doing. Get good grades in school, pick a major when you're 18, start working immediately upon graduation, and then keep going!! Work hard, earn a graduate degree, get promoted, work harder, pay your taxes, sort the recycle from the trash, try to fit in exercise, and avoid uncomfortable questions like "Is it Friday yet??" or "How did I get here?!"
I think this is perfectly easy for us to do as human beings. And I think it's especially easy for those of us who enjoy pleasing everyone from parents to professors...those of us who can meet and exceed pretty much any standard given to us...and those of us who sharply feel other people's feelings.
And it's okay.
We're encouraged to follow this path.
So we tend to run hard down the track of somebody else's version of happiness. And it's fine to begin adulting that way - there isn't anything inherently wrong with it. But, when we start feeling kinda lost, and the next logical achievement ends up feeling weirdly empty, and when maintaining the status quo begins to feel onerous and enervating, then it's time to stop. It's time to figure out what's missing.
The missing piece is often knowing.
Deep happiness comes after deep self-knowledge.
I learned the hard way that nobody else knew what would be right for my life. Nobody could tell me what would be best or what would make me truly happy. Nobody's advice could make me feel connected to my own life, and I'd venture to say that's true for you, too.
So this work is what I help my beloved clients do: I help them get firmly on their own track so they experience the profound happiness that makes the world a tremendously better place for all beings. And this endeavor begins with knowing what they truly, madly, deeply want for themselves.
To this end, I have created a system for knowing. And, I've built a new 60-day program for sharing this system with you: it's called "Know What You Really Want."
It doesn't require that you take any external actions in your life (like quitting the job you hate or having a difficult conversation with someone or moving out of your apartment). The program is just about knowing. And maybe a little bit about accepting what you learn about yourself, even if it scares you a little.
Because, when you know, here's what happens:
Your energy leaps like a ballerina on crack. You improve every relationship in your life, as well as your work situation (including your productivity, your presence, your leadership). You build a solid confidence in yourself that is resilient and expansive. You begin to truly trust yourself. And you become less attached to winning the approval of others because you begin to approve of you.
All of that change happens on the inside, and it blooms from sacred self-knowledge.
You see, the map to your most uniquely right life is already inside you. You were born with it. And it's your birthright to access it, to know it, and of course, to live it, if you so choose - becoming profoundly happy in the process. You can live the depth and breadth of your life, radiating joy into the lives of all beings around you, contributing meaningfully to the transformation of consciousness that is taking place on our beautiful planet right now. As long as you know what you really want.
Would you like to learn more?
Let's have a Breakthrough Session. It's a special session for my people: high-achieving, successful women who are ready to know what they really truly want - from the inside out. You'll get clarity on where you are now and what's standing in your way of happiness, and during this conversation I'll share some powerful strategies for accessing your own inner map.
I'm offering this special session to you, my devoted readers, before posting it publicly. It's not even on my website yet! The first FIVE of you to book one will receive the session for FREE, as a thank-you gift for being here. (Normally this session costs $295.)
I would love, love, LOVE to spend an hour with you creating a breakthrough to your own profound happiness! Please join me.
You can book your Breakthrough Session here.