what happens when you grow a pair of ovaries

Dear Sugar Shells,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your sweet responses to last week's letter! (You know who you are.) I swear I didn't write it just to receive all these kindnesses, but I'm definitely tucking this in my back pocket as a possible covert strategy for the future. Ha!

Many of you have expressed curiosity about my next steps, both personally and professionally. So, in honor of inquiring minds, today's letter is a Q & A style missive...with little nuggets of juicy goodness built in for you.

Q. Divorce?? What???!! As a devoted reader, how did I not know this?

A.1. {Simple version.} I'm a very private person.

A.2. {Nuanced version.} I'm a very private person who has fully embraced the Martha Beck coaching principle of being transparent, authentic, and open (or, TAO, as my clients know). So, yes: privacy and transparency. Can you say paradox? I know. Sometimes my head is a confusing place to be. Here's what I mean.

Every single day I endeavor to be as honest and courageous as possible, even (and perhaps especially) when I feel vulnerable. This is transparency. It has involved growing a pair of ovaries - especially related to sharing my life on the Internet - and becoming willing to put myself "out there" authentically and openly.

This commitment to being TAO has also involved becoming willing to deal with the conflict that arises when someone feels uncomfortable with the growth I've undergone. For me, that's another part of openness. I share my news, and I endeavor to receive the responses with an open heart.
So, although I have felt ready for a while now to be TAO about my marriage news, I hadn't felt well and truly ready to handle the emotional responses of others until recently. And it's very, very easy for me to indulge my natural proclivity for privacy, waiting for the right moment to engage the ovarian strength.


Q. Um, excuse me, but does your husband read your letter?

A. Yes! This is another reason I waited a while to write about my marriage. Last week, I asked my dear husband to preview the letter before I published it, and he gave me his 100% approval. He even liked it, actually, which is cute. Believe me, I count myself lucky that he and I are still good friends.

Q. So, what's going to happen to your life and your business now???

A. Well, much remains the same, actually. I love my little sugar monkeys more than ever and still send them letters and fun stickers in the mail. (My sister just got the Voxer app so I can now vox the kids, too. YES!) I thank the Universe every single day for my flat-out amazing friends - three (three!!!) of whom have offered to house me post-divorce, and they mean it. I'm still stunned by this fact.

Also, you may or may not have noticed that I'm wildly passionate about my work. If I'm being really honest, I'll tell you that coaching my beloved clients feels like winning the lottery over and over and over again...as in, every day. I'm not exaggerating. And, this upcoming retreat is delighting me already and it hasn't even happened yet! When I'm not coaching or retreat-drooling, I'm dreaming up new classes and programs and collaborations all the time. So. I love my business, and fortunately it seems to love me right back. It most definitely stays!

However, what will change is that I'm going to physically move out of my home in San Mateo. In fact, at this point, I'm quite likely to move out of California altogether. (I know, I know, more surprises!!) As much as I cherish my native San Francisco Bay Area, it feels like time for a serious change of scenery. Adventure is practically screaming my name...and I'm listening.

If I've learned anything in the last few years, it's that I can absolutely, wholeheartedly trust my own inner guidance. And, yes, this takes a strong pair of ovaries. (Especially when my inner guides nudge me toward life choices that result in furrowed brows, crossed arms, or even outright disapproval from loved ones.) BUT, if I can grow a pair, anyone can. Truly.

So. Let's see what happens next, shall we? (Raising my giant mug of tea to Adventure...!!!)

Sincerely,
Julie